It's a dark day for Barnharts everywhere, but I must dutifully report that there are wolves among us sheep. Have you been wondering why your checking account seems abnormally low? Puzzled by the recent loss of all your finest jewelry? Have you recently walked out of Meijers to find yourself a victim of grand theft? These are all signs of crime. And the following article will helpfully guide us toward the perpetrators:
http://www.livescience.com/culture/090128-names-crime.html
Interesting. Both myself and Dad are the only upstanding fellows in this whole bunch (according to the first line of the article, which is all I read). Things are starting to make sense now. I'd always wondered why I felt a vague sense of dis-ease around Daniel. In the presence of a crimial, I now see! And here I'd already assumed my discomfort could just be attributed to his prolific activity in the post-gastronomic regions.
Why that's ridiculous and preposterous. I find this entire post to be suspect.
ReplyDeleteFirst, Daniel is exonerated by the fact that one of the authors of the study shares his name.
As for me and Ben, I consulted the online popularity index: Baby Name Voyager (http://www.babynamewizard.com/voyager). Benjamin ranked 26 in 2007 (44 in the 70's) and Steven ranked 90 (19 in the 70's). While David ranked 12, Daniel ranked 5 - apparently making him the 5th most docile boy on the planet. You'll also note that Minnesota was the most popular place for Benjamins in 1999, which explains a lot.
My point is this: You don't see the criminal behavior until you get below the top 100. With names like Paxton (ranked over 500) or Butch (not used since the 70's) you can be sure. But just because Steven is ranked the lowest of all us boys doesn't mean I'm criminal.
And if you don't retract your claims, I'M GONNA SELL YOUR BLOGGING RIGHTS ON THE BLACK MARKET!!!
Thanks David for the tip, I have been bleeding cash at a fast rate, I've always blamed it on Daniel, now I know the facts. I too only needed to read the first line to get the whole story.
ReplyDelete