Corona hair, don't care.

Most of the time, I'm pretty thankful for having a healthy head of hair, even if it did turn gray more than a decade ago and my hairline seems to be making space for my forehead. Large foreheads are signs of great intelligence, by the way.

But in these days of closed barbershops and warming temperatures, having long, flowing locks is not quite as desirable as it might have been in days of yore. To wit, this shaggy, overgrown mess.

So we bought a pair of clippers and Olivia watched some Youtube how-to videos and then I described how the barbers usually cut my hair and we talked about what kind of hair style I wanted. And then I thought, why don't I make this more democratic and let people vote for the haircut I should get. So here, then, are the three options.

The Caesar

This is a pretty classic cut. Short on the sides and back, and relatively short on top. You can add some pomade and give it a little shape, or step out of the shower and do nothing more than run a comb through it. Transitions well from day to night.

The fauxhawk

An excellent option when you want to look mean. Or you want to look like you're trying to look mean.

The tonsure

Let us not think of ourselves, brothers and sisters, but let us take on the vows of prayer and poverty and quarantine to our monasteries and nunneries where we can bake bread and make jam and wait until the world is safe for habitation once again. Amen.

Chrome dome

We have too much, and sometimes you just have to let it all go. Purge yourself of unwanted items. Marie Kondo asks us to look at every object in our homes and ask, "Does this spark joy?" And sometimes you have to look at your hair and say, "Does my hair spark joy?" And the answer is sometimes no. So in those times, it's necessary to take it all away and start over afresh.

Conclusion

Of the haircut options, let me know which one you think I should choose and I'll ask my personal stylist to give me that cut. Although now that I think about it, I really hope you all choose the last one, because I'm not sure I can put the hair back on at this point. I probably should have thought of that before...

And, of course, many thanks to my lovely hair stylist!